


Three's Company

by nottonyharrison



Category: Marvel 3490, Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Art, F/M, Flash Fic, Gen, Tony Stark bitchfest, my Stark issues are worse than yours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 14:33:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nottonyharrison/pseuds/nottonyharrison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate versions of Pepper, Steve, and Rhodey all land in the same universe. Somewhere nearby, three Starks plot world domination. Did you really think they wouldn't compare notes?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three's Company

**Author's Note:**

> I drew this, and then Mat asked for fic. I couldn't say no.  
> 

"What do we call them?”

"Stark, Starker, and Starkest?"

"Look, I don’t know about you, Pepper, but I think they should just have the collective designation of Explosion waiting to happen, and leave it at that,” Captain Rogers says, looking at the tall, willowy Pepper, rather than the shorter, curvier version sitting next to her. The blond Potts narrows his eyes at him and frowns.

"Only if yours is Starkest. That man has an ego bigger than this entire bizarre dimension.”

"So big he’ll probably call that a compliment and put it on the next special edition Iron Man action figure."

There’s a collective, comical head turn, as three Steves and three Peppers look to the door, at three James Rhodes’. Blond Pepper, who has proven to be less discreet than his more feminine counterparts, wolf whistles. “Hello Rhodey triplets. Good to see one of us didn’t get the gender swap or married to a maniac treatment.”

"Hey, you watch what you say about my wi-"

"Cool it, Captain Amentalca, I’m sure Natasha is all sunshine and rainbows and fairy dust.”

"I didn’t say-" Recently Unfrozen Steve nudges Married Steve in the ribs, and the older man makes a pained face. "Okay, so it’s more like sleeps til’ noon, only drinks things that are brown, and used to have a problem with dust of a completely different kind, but you know… people… change?”

"Was that a question, or an attempt at consoling the rest of us?" This time it’s one of the Rhodes’, who really do all look identical. "Because if it is, it ain’t working. In our universe," he glances at the one everyone’s calling Enormous Steve, “Tony quit drinking, but that didn’t stop him going insane, turning himself into a computer, losing his company more times than I can count, and - this is the kicker - deleting his brain.”

"Natasha ran away to the moon once. Told me she would be gone for a week, came back six months later pregnant with an alien baby, and married to a being that didn’t even appear to have a body." There’s a collective nod, and Married Steve rests his head on his palm and sighs. "Damn, I really thought that one might shock at least one of you."

Tall, Willowy Pepper raises her hand. “Starkest has only been Iron Man for three years, but he’s already had two breakdowns, one trip through a wormhole with a nuke strapped to his back, and nine-hundred and forty-three love child accusations. But he hasn’t tried to run off to the moon yet, I’ll give you that, Married Steve.”

“Starker made me a suit, which fell in love, and then kidnapped me. Which was made even creepier because he named the operating system after his butler.”

There’s a collective noise of disgust, and one of the Rhodes’ points a finger at Short Curvy Pepper. “You win, Potts. That… that’s… oh my god that could have been me.”

"Be glad you didn’t have creepy bodyless alien being trying to transfer the fetus of its unborn child into your decidedly non-uterus equipped bo-"

"Aaand that’s it, we have a winner."


End file.
